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Joke of the Day

"I don't like vegetables, so somebody told me to get a juicer. It didn't help. That thing tasted worse than the vegetables."

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"""The limo is broken""... Said the limo driver who looked like a person but darker colored"
"I wrote an essay once comparing various versions of the Bible. I had to do a lot of cross referencing."
"What did the Wife-DNA say to the Husband-DNA? Do these genes make me look fat?"
"When God eats mushrooms He has delusions of regular."
"What's the difference between having a boner and being cyberbullied? One is getting erect, and the other is getting e-wrecked."
"I guess I now know what the Pope is giving up for lent."
"8 year old daughter: I wish I had been born a twin Me: You were a very hungry fetus- Wife: Ok that's enough time with Dad for today"
"First time I saw the Trojan bare skin condoms I was like, what? Bear skin? That seems unpleasant."
"When I was 15, my dad found my stash of porn magazines. To teach me a lesson, he sat there and made me masturbate to every one."