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Joke of the Day
"Did you hear about the clown who refined iron? He smelt funny"
Next Joke
"Folks, what's the deal with Stuart Little. Husband and wife go to an adoption agency and they give them a rat in a sweater. Surely illegal"
"[boss calls me to office] We found a lot of disgusting porn on your computer. Thats a matter of opinion. Some may say it's the right amount."
"Hey to all the girls with more than one person in their picture you're making this VERY DIFFICULT."
"HR- do you know why we called you down here today? Me- your broomstick is broke and you need a ride? HR... Me- a house landed on your sister"
"How do you make five pounds of fat look good? Put a nipple on it!"
"""My Ex is amazing in all ways. My Ex is smarter, more successful, and more attractive than I am."" - bumper sticker I put on my Ex's car"
"What do you call a master at guessing Anime characters? Guesu"
"Marry a man who surrounds himself with good weather and can provide good weather for you and your children."
"Watch as i slowly pull my shirt up over - wait, stuck in the too-small neckhole...struggling... Okay, dont watch."