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Joke of the Day
"The hardest part about eating a vegetable... Manipulating the wheel chair."
Next Joke
"What did the brown dwarf say to the bartender? I'd like a Corona, please."
"It must be terribly disappointing to go through the trouble of blowing oneself up only to discover 72 twenty year olds playing Warcraft."
"Falling vending machines kill more people per year than sharks. I've never even seen a shark near a vending machine."
"What the difference between /r/gonewild and /r/jokes? Not all the posts on /r/gonewild are about pussy, anal sex, blowjobs, and pedophilia. Seriously, /r/jokes, get your shit together"
"How do you say doormat in Spanish? Matador"
"[office meeting] BOSS: Printer ink is costing us a ton. Any ideas on how to cut costs? SQUID: *looks up from phone* Why y'all lookin' at me?"
"Jamie Oliver says there's ""nothin worse in the world than an undercooked green bean"" I'll go out on a limb & say he doesn't watch the news."
"Roses are red, violets are blue.... does this rag smell like chloroform to you? ,"
"Thanksgiving dinner. So a housewife is preparing thanksgiving dinner when her husband comes in, and she asks, ""are you hungry, dear?"" And the turkey answers, ""no, I'm stuffed."""