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Joke of the Day

"Two cows were talking in a field.. One said to the other, ""Have you heard about that mad cow disease?"" The other says, ""Yeah, good thing we're penguins""."

"If Twitter has done nothing else, it's trained me to spell words like diarrhea, gonorrhea & chlamydia without spell check."

"I hope I get a good grade on my kids science project this year."

"Why is Monica Lewinsky going to vote Republican this year? Last time she tried Democrat it left a bad taste in her mouth."

"Explaining puns to kleptomaniacs is hard because they often take things, literally."

"Sometimes I just wish people were as easy to forget as PIN numbers."

"The next terrorist attack has apparently been launched in the stall next to me in this Target bathroom."

"Personally, I think the title of ""World Champions"" is ridiculous. This is America, we're Universe Champions!"

"Daddy Bear -""Someones been sleeping in my bed."" Mummy Bear -""Wouldn't be the first time."" Daddy Bear -""It's been 3 years Sue, let it go."""

"If everything is going your way You're in the wrong lane"