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Joke of the Day

"I guess my parents were secret agents all along. I heard they're getting a divorce because my dad got blown by the mailman."

"GENIE: you have three wishes ME: make math go away GENIE: ha ok that one's on the house ME: oh so I still get three wishes? GENIE: huh?"

"3 1/2 Inches is the avg size a woman needs to be happy. MasterCard, Visa, American Express, ect..."

"What did the Indian man name his sandwich shop? New Delhi :D"

"They should make a reality TV show called, ""Jersey Shore meets Shark Week"""

"the cool part about hitting your 30s is just about anything u do for fun eventually leads to a headache, diarrhea, anxiety, or just sweating"

"While getting ready to leave on trip, I was trying to get my wife to hurry up. She says ""Why are you rushin'?"" Too which I replied ""Because my grandpa is from Moscow."" Duh.."

"I like to wipe my ass like I drive. Stopping only on red."

"Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a six offender."

"Just realized the laundry detergent has been in the refrigerator for 3 days, in case you're looking for a business manager."