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Joke of the Day

"I like to wipe my ass like I drive. Stopping only on red."

"Pretty upsetting that gummy worms are actual size but gummy bears are not."

"TIL: 9 out of 10 people addicted to drinking break fluid... can't stop."

"Spent the entire day milking a single almond."

"Daddy, what's for dinner? ""did you have cereal for breakfast?"" No ""then cereal"""

"*i get on a rollercoaster with my washing machine* ""Hold tight son...WAIT! If u are here then.."" *son is at home w/ a mouth full of laundry*"

"Physics Joke A photon walks into a hotel and the bellman says ""can I help you with your bags?"" And the photon replies, ""no it's ok, I'm traveling light."""

"Water is good for you? I call bullshit. My phone drank some one time and guess what? IT DIED!"

"What do you call a ghost in spring? April ghouls"

"I dreamt I was in a very magical world where people didn't get butthurt over every little f*cking joke. Weird huh?!?!"