22364

Joke of the Day

"What do you call a slippery book? Non-Friction"

"I think I'm about to be molested by an alpaca... Today some guy on the street kept screaming at me to ""be ready for the alpaca lips"""

"Knock knock (Your turn)"

"How do you use a condom twice? Turn it inside out and shake the fuck out of it."

"I could talk about the atomic structure all day... But I'd rather not Bohr you about it."

"If someone asks you what time it is they either: want to sleep with you; or are some kind of psycho that doesn't have a cellphone."

"Roses are red, violets are blue... I've got no girlfriend, so porn hub will do."

"I overheard a gentleman saying he grew up with Drew Brees, and that he wasn't a very nice person... I said, ""Hey! Drew Brees is a *Saint!*"""

"What's the difference between a poorly-dressed man on a unicycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle? A tire."

"I don't understand why people say they don't believe in sex before marriage... It's obviously sex after marriage that doesn't exist."