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Joke of the Day

"I think I'm about to be molested by an alpaca... Today some guy on the street kept screaming at me to ""be ready for the alpaca lips"""

"First rule of brown girl club: Don't wear pink & white striped shirts; you'll look like Neopolitan ice cream."

"What's wrong with lawyer jokes? Lawyers don't think they're funny, and nobody else thinks they're jokes."

"What's denser than a black hole? Your ex."

"I'm so smart, I've got more brains than... Kurt Cobain's ceiling"

"Sat opposite an Indian lady on the train today , she shut her eyes and stopped breathing. I thought she was dead , until I saw the red spot on her forehead and realised she was just on standby."

"Studies show that your chances of getting murdered drop down significantly when you STFU and mind your own business."

"What's a dragracers favourite meal? Brake-fast"

"How did the instructor try to make horse riding enjoyable? He tried to stirrup some interest!"

"A lot of people think the medical drama ""House"" is funny.... but I think it Hugh-Laurie-ious!"