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Joke of the Day
"What kind of pants does Mario wear? denim denim denim"
Next Joke
"I met a cute deaf girl at a bar the other day... ... that bitch still hasn't returned any of my calls."
"You people who don't wear glasses don't realize how gratifying it is to take them off and rub your eyes when someone's being a moron."
"If your online dating profile says ""I don't have sex on the first date"" then that's why you're on a dating website."
"[my son brings a meme home] please can we keep him [me loading shot gun] leave the room Gregg"
"I just invented a new word Plagiarism"
"Why do they call it ejaculate... when it's usually early?"
"A friend is like a condom. They'll stick close to you and protect you as best they can but once you fill them with semen you need a new one."
"everyone i ever dated is impressed when i namedrop foreign authors but never bothers to check if they're just ikea product names (they are)"
"I'm not feeling myself today ... would you do it for me?"