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Joke of the Day
"What happened to Kim Jong? He was ill."
Next Joke
"He asked where I wanted to go for dinner, and that's how the fight got started."
"I used to have to read my kids a bedtime story every single night until I started randomly killing off characters to amuse myself."
"In the midst of all this negativity and hate please take comfort in remembering that I have a 5 star uber passenger rating"
"There is so much lead in Flint That when you pass a factory, you immediately assume that Chinese children work there"
"[Corporate Olive Garden meeting, 1985] Jesus: Let's do unlimited breadsticks. CEO: How can we supply that many? Jesus: *winks at camera*"
"What do a porn star and an IT security analyst have in common? Both do penetration testing."
"Knock knock. ""Who's there?"" Creepy. ""Creepy who?"" This is a nice bedroom you have."
"That awkward moment when you text a pretty girl, ""my shirt smells like you"" & you misspell shirt"
"I have as much authority as the Pope, i just don't have as many people who believe it."