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Joke of the Day

"This strange woman won't stop talking to me so I'm going to stare at her eyebrows until she gets paranoid and leaves me alone."

Next Joke
 
"I've lost so many friends to babies."
"For a gentleman, Shakespeare really knew how to spread those thy's."
"What is a blind persons favourite song? Hello darkness my old friend"
"Why is my girlfriend fat? Because I'm ugly."
"What do mathematics and environmental beat mixers have in common? Al Gore rythyms"
"When someone offers me constructive criticism, it's clear they've mistaken me for someone else."
"Husband : Why are there broken condoms on our couch??? Wife : would you please call our children by their real names?"
"[NSFW] What did the farmer say when he got caught watching porn? Amishamed of myself."
"Mom: Any big plans today? Me: Yes, of course, my friend is coming over and... Mom: The mail doesn't come on Sundays. Me: Oh, then no. :'("