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Joke of the Day

"1+1=3 It does take about 9 months though"

"The NSA: The only part of government that actually listens"

"The Scarecrow didn't have the brains, Tin Man didn't have the heart, and the Lion didn't have the courage. So Dorothy remained a virgin."

"My priest has this game... Called ""find the skinflute"". I'm starting to think he's no good cause he hides it the same place every time."

"It's not that I'm antisocial. My phone just happens to be a lot more interesting than the entire human population."

"I really hate being bipolar... ...it's great!"

"When someone posts ""Hmmm. That was interesting..."" as their status on FB, I never ask what they're talking about because it never is."

"Every night Owen Wilson secretly prays tomorrow will be the day his son breaks his nose for the first time."

"My friend died today... He wasn't able to speak, but in his dying moments he wanted me to have his EpiPen. I'll cherish it forever."

"What is the opposite of Christopher Reeves? Christopher Walken."