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Joke of the Day

"Hot kraft singles in my pocket waiting to meet you."

"I hate to rub it in, but lotion doesn't really work otherwise."

"He died doing what he loved; getting stabbed to death in a TJ Maxx."

"Cop: Been drinking tonight, ma'am? Me: No, I'm just dizzy b/c I'm having a heavy flow day. It's really clotty and... Cop: You're free to go."

"I just went to see the local police chief give a talk on heroin. I couldn't understand a word he said"

"What did the guy from Northern Canada have to say about the place? He wanted Nunavut."

"A man gets the words ""I love you"" tattooed to his penis... He then goes home to his wife and his wife tells him: ""honey, stop trying to put words in my mouth."""

"What do you get when you divide the diameter of a jack-o-lantern by it's circumference? Pumpkin Pi. ( )"

"I like my women like I like my cheese Pungent and gooey."

"How many Protestants does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They live in eternal darkness."