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Joke of the Day

"Dating was easier back in the day. Back before the big bang when we were all compressed into one dot"

"Knock knock. ""Who's there?"" ""Orange."" ""Orange who?"" Knock knock. ""Who's there?"" ""Orange."" ""Orange who?"" Knock knock. ""WHO'S THERE?"" ""The president."" ""Well, why didn't you just say so?"" ""I did."""

"Roses are red, violets are blue Enjoy the cancer I just gave to you"

"What's the difference between Jews and Santa? Santa goes down the chimney."

"Let's get this out of the way now. Next Wednesday, the date will be 12-12-12. Happy?"

"me: ""i re-wrote pulp fiction"" director: ""wow ok"" [reads script] ""this is literally just pulp fiction"" me: ""i didnt say it was different"""

"Wife called up her mom and said, ""He fought with me again,I'm coming to live with you."" Mom replied, no no my daughter, he must pay for his mistake. I am coming to stay with you."

"What does a dirty hippie say after you ask him to get off your couch? Namaste"

"When your parents held you as a baby for the first time, they secretly hoped you'd end up arguing with strangers on a celebrity's Instagram."

"I decided to make a play about puns I'm going to call it ""puns: a play on words"""