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Joke of the Day

"When I get Christmas cards with pictures of my friends' kids on them, I just draw dicks all over their faces and send them back."

"The wood necromancer thought he had the upper hand when he trapped the clerics in his log cabin... But all too soon, the tables had turned."

"Marines Lock a Marine in a room with 4 bowling balls. He'll lose one, break one, and one will be on fire. The other one is pregnant."

"I was born to be a pessimist.. My blood type is B Negative."

"A zebra walks into a bar... He orders a drink and leaves. A few minutes later a horse walks into the bar. The bartender asks ""Hey man! What happened to your pajamas?"""

"Know any Swedish jokes? I've heard they don't Finnish very well"

"Africa The US sent a humanitarian shipment of medicine to Africa, but it is was returned after a few weeks, because the label said ""take after a meal"". Sorry."

"What's black and white and red all over? A bioracial double homocide."

"Why did Bruce Jenner crash his car? Because she's a woman."

"I got 45 pages into writing my autobiography before I realized I was just typing the lyrics to Smash Mouth's ""All Star"" over and over again."