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Joke of the Day

"The wood necromancer thought he had the upper hand when he trapped the clerics in his log cabin... But all too soon, the tables had turned."

"Seriously, Twitter. Do NOT import my contacts."

"Until my sneezes have time to figure out their beliefs, please stop blessing them."

"What does a flame smell like? Burnt nose hair."

"I went to the Doctors today for a checkup He told me that I had one of the best digestive systems he'd ever seen. So today I'm celebrating superb bowel sunday."

"How do you tell if someone is being a karma whore? EDIT: Wow I didn't expect this to become so popular!"

"How many dead babies does it take to change a lightbulb? More than 4, because my basement is still dark."

"DAD: What happened to your car? SON: Transmission is shot. Reverse doesn't work. DAD: Well... SON: Don't- DAD: There's no going back now"

"I broke up with my Japanese girlfriend today... I had to drop the bomb two or three times for her to get the message though."

"What does a redneck do on Halloween? Pumpkin"