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Joke of the Day

"What do Ethiopians and Yoko Ono have in common? They are both living off of dead beatles."

"I hate it when employees ask to go home sick Diarrhea is a really shitty excuse. And vomiting is always a toss up."

"I have eight words to say to you...."

"I didn't spend 8 years designing this hotel so I could listen to a bunch of touristy complaints about the small cameras inside the toilets."

"Who killed the Corn Flake? The cereal killer..."

"Is your food spicy Sir ? No smoke always comes out of my ears !"

"Q: Why did the belt get locked up? A: He held up a pair of pants."

"[invention of blue cheese] ""this cheese has gone off"" sell it ""but it's gone mouldy"" I SAID SELL IT! ""fine"" & double the price ""are u ok?"""

"I'm shopping for groceries in an unfamiliar store and now I know how old people feel when they try to use a smartphone."

"They found Ellen Degeneres dead today. She was face down in Ricki Lake. Did I do it right this time?"