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Joke of the Day

"What do Japanese men do when they have erections? They vote."

"To Do List: 1) You."

"When I wrote ""Spiritual"" on my online-dating profile, I meant I like to watch 'Ghostbusters'."

"[Interview] CEO: Why do you think you'd be a good fit at our firm? GUY WHOSE DESCRIPTION IS SO LONG HE DOESN'T ACTUALLY GET TO SAY ANYTHING:"

"The weirdest thing just happened. I had Cancer, then 15 people on Facebook were brave enough to change their statuses, & now I'm cured."

"My oldest son & his gf were cooking & asked me how many 1/4 cups are in 1 cup .... Gonna write a nasty letter 2 college & ask for a refund"

"If I'm ever murdered, I have no doubt that my chalk outline would include my phone in my hand."

"My local radio station is asking people to send in funny photographs taken when you were pissed. So I've sent in my wedding album."

"I taught my parents something today... ...I guess they learned from their mistake"

"Why are muslim people so kind-hearted? Because they don't live long, especially when they're a bomb"