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Joke of the Day

"Gay marriage is legal in 6 states. Having sex with a horse is legal in 23. Good going, America."

"The worst five words are ""can I have a bite."""

"I've been calling my husband ""babe"" for five years because I'm too embarrassed to tell him I forgot his name."

"Hey girl, did you fall from heaven? Because you have a seriously fucked up face."

"Why was the Planters employee fired? He was fucking nuts."

"Good news: I learned how to build a fire. Bad news: I need a new toaster oven."

"Why did the blind man use chopsticks? Because he couldn't see the point in forks."

"What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? a Lickalotopuss"

"I need a good pun about Calvinism"

"I hate having OCD - do you realize what it's like to feel somewhat compelled to wash your hands nearly every time you go to the bathroom?!?"