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Joke of the Day

"Why are they rioting in Ferguson? Because they carefully and objectively reviewed the evidence from the trial and thought a legitimate injustice had been done."

"Why did the hovering guitarist always look worried? He was always fretting over something or other..."

"I've drawn a cartoon picture of Mohamed and signed it Kim Jong-un. Let's see where this goes."

"Thank God I wasn't on twitter when I was in college. It would've taken me 65 years to get my degree."

"Two elephants jump off a cliff Boom, boom"

"Just once in movies when someone gently shuts a dead person's eyes I want them to whisper ""Ew, ew, ew, ew."" while doing it."

"What's the difference between Usain Bolt and Hitler? Usain Bolt can finish off a race."

"You've heard of alphabet soup now get ready for Times new ramen"

"Interesting Fact: By the year 2020 all actors on American TV shows will be Australian."

"One for the science guys: Q) How do you make a hormone? A) Don't pay her!"