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Joke of the Day

"All I said was, Even those starving kids in Africa wouldn't eat your cooking and my wifes foot became Mayor of my ass on Foursquare."

"What's E.T. short for? Because he only has little legs."

"That moment where you playfully punch a kid in the grocery store, and only afterwards realize it wasn't yours."

"Me: For Christmas I want a girlfriend/boyfriend Santa: Let's be realistic lol"

"Slasher films are so unrealistic. Anyone could out run a guy walking with a chainsaw. That's why I train running with a chainsaw."

"Girls go to the bathroom together because that's where we rap battle"

"I've got a really funny knock knock joke, but you're going to have to start it... You: knock knock Me: whose there? You: ... Ummm"

"I walk around like everything is fine, but deep down...... inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off."

"3 guys were riding in a car: a hardware technician, a systems analyst, and a programmer. The systems analyst is driving and when they come to a steep hill he finds that the brakes..."

"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Eye Patch Barbie ...with a choice of eye patch colors: purple hot pink or aqua!"