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Joke of the Day
"Me: For Christmas I want a girlfriend/boyfriend Santa: Let's be realistic lol"
Next Joke
"Wearing shades inside makes me look cool, right? *Trips over the cat*"
"Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what happened to you?"
"whats got two legs and bleeds..? Half a dog"
"I wondered if my wife was asleep so I held my phone a foot over her face and turned it on. Then I dropped it onto her nose. She's awake now."
"What do a Harvard lawyer and a Yale lawyer have in common? They both got accepted to Yale."
"How many Scientologists does it take to change a light bulb? None: the light bulb must find $80,000 to become clear, then it will have the self-determination to change itself."
"Apple announced a breast implant that plays music... The iTit is considered a major social break through since women have always complained that men stare at their breasts but never listen to them."
"A psychic walks into a bar... it was then that everybody realized she was a fraud."
"What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Hitler."