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Joke of the Day

"What's E.T. short for? Because he only has little legs."

"If I were a ghost, I'd spell ""antidisestablishmentarianism"" on the Ouija board just to waste those idiots' time."

"Saw a Mime doing his gig. I reached into my purse and pretended to throw money in his hat."

"Me: Hi, what's a good school binder for my 10yo girl here? Clerk: Trapper Keeper? Me: Haha, no, she's my own daughter."

"My husband just left town for a work trip. I didn't want him to miss out on anything so I made him a mixtape of the kids whining."

"Son dad joke Grandpa - you should try this. It's out of this world Son - sorry grandpa I don't like food from space. He's 8"

"School humor Teacher: whoever answers my next question, can go home. One boy throws his bag out the window. Teacher: who just threw that?! Boy: Me! I'm going home now."

"Last night, I was sitting next to a hot girl at the bar... ...and all I could think was, ""Don't get an erection, don't get an erection, don't get an erection..."" But she did."

"What would Kim Jong-Il be doing if he was still alive today? Scratching at the lid of his coffin."

"After a dream I had last night, credits rolled. I had no idea so many people worked on those things."