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Joke of the Day

"A guy walks into a bar with a gun and asks out loud ""who had sex with my wife!?"" A voice up the back said, ""you don't have enough bullets!"""

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"What's the difference between a Hippie chick and a Hockey Player? A Hockey Player takes a shower after 3 periods..."
"Who is Ric Flair's favorite director? John WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
"Two bars of chocolate are falling down the stairs... ...the first one says:""Shit I think I broke my ribs"". To which the second one replies:""So what, I fucking hit my nuts!""."
"Why did the Scottish cannibal live on a sugar plantation? He said ""So that I can feed my lads with m'lasses."""
"My girlfriend asked if I was Happy to be fair, she always gets us dwarves confused"
"I'm sorry to hear your uncle was run over by a boat in Venice while on vacation. My gondolences."
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"What is E.T. short for? So he can fit on a spaceship."