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Joke of the Day

"What do you get when you shoot four bullets into a six pack? A Tupac..."

"You know that photo of yourself you really fucking hate, it'll look great to you in ten years time so don't delete that shit."

"I bet Edward Scissorhands is very much afraid of Edward Rockhands."

"My RA just came to my room looking for fire hazards . He said everything was fine . I guess he didn't see my mixtape ."

"[mall] Wife: Wait here. Me: Okay. Wife: Hold my purse. Me: Yes, ma'am. *looks in purse* *waves at testicles* Me: *sigh* I miss you guys!"

"My neighbor won't give me a straightforward answer, he's always beating around the bush. Every time I ask why he just says ""fuck you Gerald, it's my bush and I'll masturbate here if I want to"""

"To those out there who have accused me of selling out, of abandoning my beliefs and values to climb the social ladder: uh... yeah. yes."

"I keep having flashbacks to my emo phase. I think I might have PTXD."

"what do you call a bus full of white people a twinkie"

"What's the difference between you and a brick? Bricks can get laid."