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Joke of the Day

"I pointed to hub's hearing aid and said is that thing on? He said ""yes, I am just trying to figure out what the hell you are saying"""

"It's so damn hot outside... I called my ex so I could be around something shady."

"If I were the Town Mayor, I would rename our bridge ""The Influence."" ... Then I would direct the police to pull over and ticket everyone driving under The Influence."

"You got problems with parenting... You start to get headaches. I follow the instructions on the aspirin bottle: ""Take two and keep away from children."""

"What do you get when a dragon sneezes? Out of the way. Thanks League smh"

"NSFW. What do you get when you mix a rooster with peanut butter? A cock that sticks to the roof of your mouth."

"I bought a girl a drink at the bar. It hurt to see her give it to her boyfriend. But it was hilarious to see him drink the roofie."

"A man walks into a gay bar and says... ""Whose dick do I gotta suck to suck a dick around here?"""

"What do call the gas you get from eating cheese? Derriere"

"Please don't come to my garage sale if you've ever let me borrow something."