222691

Joke of the Day

"All those years studying karate saved my life one night, when a man with a gun jumped out of nowhere and demanded I count to 10 in Japanese."

"I try to teach my mom something new everyday. Because you're supposed to learn from your mistakes."

"Racist comments... Just like grandma used to make"

"What is it? What's black and blue and doesn't like sex? The fat kid in my trunk."

"How does Mike Tyson say hatred? Hate Thread!"

"What are the rough parts of Italy called? The spaghetto."

"Lying on the hammock while my wife does yard work. Don't know exactly what she's planting but the hole she dug is slightly bigger than me."

"Hey baby, are you a cloud server? Because I have something to upload from my hard drive."

"Did you know that in Maine they will give you five-cents for a soda can, but they won't give you ANYTHING for a baby?"

"What's a seal's favorite drink? Canadian Club on the rocks."