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Joke of the Day

"What are the rough parts of Italy called? The spaghetto."

"My fantasy is having two men at once. One cooking. One cleaning."

"Chuck Norris began selling the Total Gym as an ill-fated attempt to make his day-to-day opponents less laughably pathetic."

"Friday night. Sitting in a bar. As the designated driver. NO, I'M NOT BITTER. I'M PUNCHING YOU IN THE FACE OUT OF A SENSE OF WONDER."

"How ""thoughts of suicide"" became an acceptable drug side effect: ""How do you feel?"" ""I kind of want to kill myself."" ""Ok."""

"Don't stay inside and get depressed about the news. Go outside and get skin cancer!"

"What do you call a nun in a wheel chair? Virgin mobile"

"With the concerns over water quality at the upcoming Rio Olympic games, I think we should ask, what would Jesus do? Walk on water, he ain't swimming in that filth."

"Life is like a penis. Sometimes it's hard."

"""We invented sex"", proudly said the Greeks ""we introduced women into it"", said the italians"