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Joke of the Day

"Did you know that in Maine they will give you five-cents for a soda can, but they won't give you ANYTHING for a baby?"

"I hope the next Rambo movie is called 'Rambo No. 5' and its just Stallone dancing through the jungle shooting a little bit of this and that."

"Why was the blonde nymphomaniac sad after she got her driver's license? She got an F in sex."

"Why did the Jewish woman cry when she was forced to pay the full price? Because she could not avoid the whole cost."

"Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I'm halfway through my fish burger & I realize, Oh my God...I could be eating a slow learner."

"A guy goes to the Olympics and sees a man carrying a long pole. The guy asks - Are you a pole vaulter? The man replies - No I'm German - how did you know my name is Walter?"

"Im trying the new Vodka diet... Lose 3 days every week"

"My wife has the body of a woman half her age. I suppose I should call the police."

"The next time you're tempted to crack an easy joke about a typo on a Chinese menu, consider how well you write in Mandarin or Cantonese."

"Everyone has to pay for their mistakes... except for banks. Banks are apparently exempt from a lot of shit."