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Joke of the Day

"2night's funniest bit: a fellow comic enters the room &, given a choice between talking w/ me & w/ a homeless man, chooses the homeless man."

"I just told my brother he was adopted, his response was, ""At least they picked me"""

"How many Ron Pauls does it take to change a lightbulb?"

"Why did the terrorist go to Sonic? To have a Blast!"

"Hear about the porno in a hot air baloon? It was fucked up."

"What do you call a gay fly? a maggot"

"Five years ago I asked the most beautiful girl in the world out on a date, today I asked her to marry me. She said no both times."

"In Soviet Russia... You are in charge of Charles. (h/t Wife)"

"How is the RNC going to wash themselves of the reputation Trump has given them? Lather, Reince, repeat."

"What is the best day to wear an asshat? Sunday, because it's so holy."