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Joke of the Day

"What do parsley and pubes have in common? You push them out of the way and keep eating."

"Do I believe in climate change? Uhh yeah I believe... it DOESN'T EXIST AHH HAHA (a fiery gull falls out of the sky) HAhaha hey fire bird"

"I think I want to be a ballerina. Or a fire dancer. Or I want to set a ballerina on fire. I don't know. I'm still working it out."

"Had my son's hearing tested because he's always yelling. Turns out he's just an asshole :("

"[7:30pm] Tonight I'll actually go to bed on time and get sleep! [2:30am] the most money ever paid for a cow at an auction was $1.3 million"

"I entered ten puns in a contest ... to see which would win. No pun in ten did. ps: not my own, came across randomly."

"What is it called when a lumberjack masturbates? Logging off."

"Words can't hurt you ...unless they're ""Bet you can do that."""

"What good is a space heater, it's cold here on Earth."

"Why was the marsupial wrongly convicted? He was tried in a kangaroo court."