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Joke of the Day

"Boss: ""Thanks for making me my coffee. You know what'd go well with this?"" Me: ""The antidote?"" Boss: ""No, a nice..Wait, what?"" Me: ""Nothing"""

"I was talking to a hot North African girl for hours. We just clicked"

"What do you call a Pakistani prostitute in France? Lahore."

"I ate the worst cake of my life today, but then again that must have been why it was free at the urinal."

"Where does a king keep his armies? In his sleevies!"

"People drive too slow in the fog... I'm just over here not hitting anything. Not even my brakes."

"What is a blonde's favorite color? Glitter."

"Statistically 6 out of 7 Dwarfs are not Happy."

"Bear Grylls lies on the floor at Starbucks peeing into his own mouth, ""this is literally the only way to survive in this environment"""

"The opposite of ""Free Willy"" is ""Predestinationy."""