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Joke of the Day

"Tomorrow I'm going to start using big words to sound smart....Sorry, I meant utilizing gargantuan idioms to simulate intelligence"

"Success is just like being pregnant."

"How many hairs are in a dog's tail? None. They are all on the outside."

"The difference between a gay guy and a fridge... The fridge doesn't fart when you pull the meat out."

"*Britney Spears releases a new fragrance* *the other dinner guests look embarrassed and pretend not to notice.*"

"dad, we have ants on the counter! Hey, some of them are uncles, moms, and dads. (Thanks dad)"

"Remember the Scooby Doo episode where they put Scooby down and gave Shaggy the death penalty for ripping the face off an innocent person?"

"Yo mama so fat, when she went to Hogwarts for the first time, the sorting hat said ""Awwwwww hell 'naw!!"""

"I've got the body of a twenty year old. It's in the trunk of my car."

"Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink."