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Joke of the Day
"What does a clock do when it gets hungry? It goes back four seconds."
Next Joke
"Q: What do birds give out on Halloween? A: Tweets."
"A lot of problems in the world would disappear if we talk TO EACH OTHER instead of about each other."
"Real person: Do you have Twitter? I'll follow you! Me: Nope, sorry. Don't have a phone or a computer. Or a microwave. Hard times and all.."
"It was recently revealed that 25% of women are being treated for mental illness. Scary shit. It means 75% are running around untreated."
"[boxing match] ANNOUNCER: ...and the challenger weighing 8lbs 7oz, Billy ""The Baby"" Sanchez CHAMP: That's a real baby TRAINER: You got this"
"You can't say Happiness without... ... Penis."
"It's not a real twitter addiction until you look up from your phone and you've missed your exit by 37 states."
"How do you start a rave in Ethiopia? you nail food to the ceiling"
"Yesterday I avoided a rape of a woman - And how you did it? - I convinced her."