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Joke of the Day

"I just ended a long-term relationship today I'm not too bothered, it wasn't mine"

"2 guys walk into a gay bar... and the bartender asks one of them, ""Why the long face?"" The guy answers, ""My eyes are up here."""

"What kind of trails does a crazy person travel? Psychopaths. (I hate myself)"

"If Elsa could bring snow to life why didn't she make herself some pets? I'd have like 50 snowcats by now."

"Having the worst day ever. All traffic lights I passed were green so I had to stop on the side of the road to check my Facebook."

"I wish boxing was like wrestling so when the ref was distracted Manny Pacquiao would run in & hit Floyd Mayweather with a Stone Cold Stunner"

"Never really had a nickname in my life.. Except maybe that one time a bunch of chumps called me ""The defendant"" for a full day."

"A Muslim, an idiot, and a communist walk into a bar. The bartender says, ""Hello Mr.President."""

"""WAIT!"" I screamed at my daughter as she typed Y-O-U on my computer but miraculously the autocomplete added ""TUBE"" so yeah, God exists."

"A Bill Dawes one-liner ""Sex with two guys and a girl isn't called a threesome it's gay sex with a witness"""