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Joke of the Day

"I have decided I will never get down to my original weight. Besides 7.5 pounds is unrealistic anyway."

"Why do seals swim in salt water? Cause pepper makes them sneeze."

"What did one orphan say to the other? Robin, get in the Batmobile."

"Where do toilets live? Porcel Lane."

"Don't let herpes become yourpes."

"The tv remote fell under the bed so I guess it's TBS, on an uncomfortably high volume, for the next 5 years."

"Life advice: 1.Never be afraid to say what's on your mind 2.Never be afraid to do what's on your mind 3.Don't take life advice on Twitter"

"A man and a boy were walking in the woods... A man and a boy were walking in the woods. The little boy says ""I'm scared,"" and the man replies ""How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone."""

"You better brush your teeth everyday... Oral-B very mad!"

"This motel room smells like despair. Or is that my deodorant? The tuna sandwich, maybe. This hooker? My jeans? I bet it's my jeans."