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Joke of the Day

"""How is life in North Korea?"" I wrote to my North Korean pen pal ""I can't complain"" he wrote back."

"What's the difference between a hoedown and a hootenanny? One's when your prostitute falls on the floor, and the other is when your babbysitter is making owl sounds."

"I saw a sign that said ""Watch for children""... ... and I thought, ""That sounds like a fair exchange"""

"What did the earwig say as it fell down the stairs ? Ear we go !"

"What's the smartest animal on the farm? The farmer (this killed my 12yo brothers)"

"What's the difference between a musician and a dead body? One composes, the other decomposes..."

"[updating CW's iPhone] M: You need more gigs CW: I don't need no gigs I got a job Having a smart phone doesn't make you smart."

"Finished my 2nd glass of wine. Husband doesn't know it yet but he has a 30 second window of getting laid before I pass ou"

"[leaving a party] GF (holding 2 identical jackets): which one is yours ME: whichever one has a pancake in the pocket"

"Women are like condoms They spend more time in your wallet than on your dick."