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Joke of the Day

"My house is the only one on our street with Christmas lights up I guess the rest of the neighbours are a bunch of Jews"

"what's brown and sticky? A stick."

"I told my friend that Jewish people call God by a different name. He said, ""No way!"", to which I replied, ""Yahweh""."

"What do you call an asshole who can see the future? A 4chan teller"

"I am absolutely mortified right now. I sent someone a DM to my small business center and TinyURL shortened it to http://tinyurl.com/acockk"

"How does a pirate greet a sea monster? What's Kraken?"

"Apparently Mr. Skeltal joined the band Imagine Dragons. I heard they were going back to their doots."

"If you're watching a Cops rerun and realize you've already seen that episode, you're officially no better than anyone on the show."

"I don't drink anymore. Cocaine is a Hell of a drug!"

"I broke up with my Japanese girlfriend but she keeps calling me Seems like I have to drop the bomb twice."