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Joke of the Day
"I eat my pop tarts frozen like the vikings used to have them."
Next Joke
"*caterpillar looks up at sky* ""My dream is to fly a plane one day."" Other Caterpillar: You don't pay any attention in science class, do you?"
"Momma always said life was like a box of chocolates... ... if you're fat, it won't last long."
"Why all Pascal programmers ask to live in Atlantis? Because it is below C level."
"What do you call a relative of a nap? A napkin."
"Dance like no one is watching you while secretly videotaping to later be posted on YouTube so you become the latest worldwide laughing stock"
"What did Gimli say when his wife wasn't in the mood for sex? ""You're going to have to toss me"""
"Note for Santa Dear Santa, Please give me a big fat bank account and a slim body. Please don't mix those two up like you did last year. Thanks."
"So I was eating some Middle Eastern food... ...but then my fala fell"
"ATTENTION: upon further consideration I am once again pushing back the debut of my summer beach bod. Thank you for your patience."