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Joke of the Day

"Did you know beer makes you smarter. As it made Bud Wieser."

"Me: I can't get this star on top of the Christmas tree without a ladder, without dumping it over & ruining it. Whiskey: Yes you can."

"I bought a pair of shoes off my drug dealer... And they must have been laced with something, cause I've been tripping all day."

"Did you hear about the romantic comedy that has a cast consisting only of Vine stars? They've already announced the title: ""P.S. I Got 'Eem""."

"I started a band called 999 megabytes 6 months ago. We still haven't got a single gig."

"What do neo-Nazis do on Hitler's birthday? Heil if I know"

"""You have a BA? Ooooh! Look at you! Well, I have a BA, an MA, & a PhD."" - 3rd degree burn"

"I just put on sine trousers I haven't worn since a wedding in 2001. I found a Nokia 3210 in the pocket... It still had 2 bars of battery. *some trousers"

"What does Air bnb stand for? Bring no blacks"