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Joke of the Day
"Rick Rolled"
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"Why should you never trust an atom? Because they make up everything.."
"If Trump wins, why should you move to Mexico instead of Canada? Because there'll be an actual wall keeping you from Trump"
"[couples therapy] ME: She thinks I make bad decisions WIFE: He traded our car for a skateboard THERAPIST: *writing notes* This guy rules"
"I hope none of these haystacks are sharing needles."
"I wonder what TSA would do if I brought a block of ice through airport security. My physics teacher said it's not a liquid."
"How does Moses make his coffee? He brews it."
"First, Ray Rice. Now, Adrian Peterson. The prison football league is going to be off the chain this year."
"Man, those guys in the Cialis commercial sure are charmed by their wives' approximations of human behavior"
"My girl caught me blowing my dick with the air dryer, and asked what I was doing. Apparently, ""Heating your dinner"" wasn't a good answer."