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Joke of the Day

"Any ideas for 'insults' that have no right answer? For example: did you get caught beating off in the corner? Love these types of jokes but can only think of a couple right now. Thanks!"

Next Joke
 
"I'm glad you all tweeted mean stuff at me because I've changed my mind. On everything! Congrats! You did it!"
"What do you get when you pour root beer into a square glass? Beer"
"Why did the gay scarecrows get divorced after their surrogate mother aborted their IVF baby on obamacare? The whole thing was one big straw man argument."
"Him- You're a useless piece of shit.. Me- Show me a useful piece of shit."
"Tissues are for tearful issues and for when people think it's funny but it's snot."
"If I was Snow White you'd never be able to kill me with an apple...you'd have to poison an eclair or something..."
"Being romantic as an awkward mathematician is hard... I called my girlfriend 1/cos(c) to try and compliment her but I don't think she caught my drift. Can't blame her though, that's a triggy one."
"I'm not allowed to watch Hoarders anymore because people say ""let it go"" too often and then I can't stop singing it, an autobiography."
"What did the lawyer say when he stepped in dog shit? Help me..... I'm melting"