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Joke of the Day

"What goes well with country music? Suicide."

"Wow. Girl 1) Isn't that illegal? Girl 2) Yeah, so is prostitution but I didn't stop your mom. Girl 1) You don't know my mom. Girl 2) Neither did your dad."

"I was reading a book about Anti-Gravity I just couldn't put it down"

"Flight Attendant: ""Would you like some headphones?"" Me: ""How did you know my name is Phones?"""

"The inventor of the throat lozenge died today... There will be no coffin at the funeral."

"If a hippo was studying to be a neurosurgeon what school would the hippo go to? The Hippocampus!"

"s/o to the first person who saw a horse and was like ""YO i wanna sit on that thing and make it take me places"""

"This morning I read about that 14 year boy with a clock they thought was a bomb ...I just checked again and it's really blown up since then"

"I like my women like I like my coffee With K cups"

"What do you call the spicy version of Cream of Someyoungguy? Cream of Someyoungthai."