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Joke of the Day

"I recently found out my blood type is A+ However, in my tests I only get B or less. Doesn't success run in my blood?"

"How would you describe your past work? [Cut to me picking up coins off sidewalks and taking them to CoinStar] -Change management."

"Have you seen my LSD? No but have you seen the Dragon in the kitchen?"

"Customer: Why doesn't this restaurant have any specials? Waiter: Because nothing about this food is special."

"Wife: Who is the prettiest of my friends? Me: your mother, why? W: Stop acting like you're 12. M: (thinking) I dodged that bullet again."

"What keeps the KKK happy? A Klan-do attitude... I'll walk myself out."

"I don't know what my wife is most upset about today. The fact that she caught me having sex with her mother this morning or the fact that her mother died during her sleep last night."

"Why does Felix Baumgartner needs parachute.. when Red Bull gives you wings."

"You can accurately measure a person's intelligence level by giving them a simple prostate exam. If they let you, they're an idiot."

"My pooch found a great TV show for us to watch Dogter Who"