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Joke of the Day
"My pooch found a great TV show for us to watch Dogter Who"
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"What's blue, and smells like red paint? Blue paint"
"Never bring a dildo to a knife fight."
"After my girlfriend told me she was pregnant, I decided to start thinking about names. In the end I went for Juan Carlos and hopped on the next flight to Spain."
"A large chunk of ice walks into a bar and places his order. ""I'll take a whiskey on the rocks."" The bartender looks at him and says, ""I'm sorry, sir, but I can't serve your kids."""
"I've never understood people who don't drink because it's ""bad for you"" Honestly, I think they should lighten up and liver little."
"Two guys walk into a bar You would think the second one would've ducked..."
"[gestures to the parents of a crying baby] shhhh, please. my foot's asleep"
"Some people may call me an agnostic but I'm a God-fearing man -- afraid she might exist"
"Sandwich: Hi. Barman: Sorry, we dont serve food in here."