196919

Joke of the Day

"I don't know what my wife is most upset about today. The fact that she caught me having sex with her mother this morning or the fact that her mother died during her sleep last night."

"I can go from 2 to 0 testicles in 1.0 spiders."

"What's the difference between a good joke and a bad joke?"

"How many potato's does it take to kill an Irishman? None."

"You go in for an interview for a Linux programming job... ...and you are asked for an example of your linux programming abilities, so you type into the terminal ""sudo apt-get JOB"""

"Came up with this one today How do the Russians invade the Ukraine? They rush in."

"What's a nun's favorite fruit? cantaloupe"

"For Christmas, I gave my wife a t-shirt and a dildo. I told her if she didn't like the shirt she could go fuck herself."

"These Alt-Right people should Ctrl+Alt-Right+Delete themselves from American society, Am I right?!"

"What do the English and Hitler have in common? They both hate the Polish."