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Joke of the Day

"What's an accountant's idea of trashing his hotel room? Refusing to fill out the guest comment card."

"Hippocrates did very well for himself, considering he was named after cages for a large mammal."

"I think I speak for Earth when I say that I'm ready for Justin Bieber to turn to hard drugs and squander his wealth, eventually losing fame."

"""Good morning, Urology Department... Can you hold?"""

"So me and my friends got in a ride with a student driver today... He knew how to get us to school in time."

"Whats the best part about having sex with twenty eight year olds? There's twenty of them"

"Roses... Roses are red violets are blue - I'm a schizophrenic and so am I."

"Did you see the story about the missing dolphin? I'd tell you more about it but there's really no porpoise..."

"Have you heard what they say about luck? It could be raining pussy and I'd get slapped in the face with a sweaty dick."

"How come lesbians can't be vegan? They all eat pussy."