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Joke of the Day

"Have you heard what they say about luck? It could be raining pussy and I'd get slapped in the face with a sweaty dick."

"What do you call people who worship paper bags? Sack religious"

"Construction worker not wearing his safety gear [NSFW]"

"How many Jews can you fit in a car? Two in the front, two in the back and none in the ash tray because the Holocaust never happened."

"Wait. I thought Fifty Shades of Grey was just a coloring book for dogs."

"How do you make holy water? Put it in a pot and boil the hell out if it."

"My wife says I snore really bad, so I stayed awake all night to see if she if she was right. Turns out she's a liar, I didn't snore once."

"Best part of election night is seeing how fast states tabulate votes and judging the slow ones. What's up, Sloth Carolina?!"

"*eats banana seductively Banana: I have a boyfriend"

"My wife said, ""You always blame everyone else when things go wrong"" I said..""And whose fault is that?"""