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Joke of the Day

"Name a sub genre of Engineering PORN Armature"

"If my girlfriend is late for work & looking for keys, I help by following her around the house & looking in exactly the same spots she does."

"I pretty much spend all day, every day, just looking forward to going back to sleep."

"Calm down, people on FB who ran the Detroit marathon. I'd be running a shit load too if I were in Detroit."

"if i ever spontaneously combust, i hope it's around somebody i don't like and that they're wearing their favorite outfit."

"Before social networking you could just completely forget someone existed. And it was great"

"Why is Friday the best day of the week? Its the 5/7 day of the week"

"What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea? I've never had a garbanzo bean on my face."

"Anyone got a 10 year old daughter I could introduce as mine? Stuck in an elaborate lie after putting my music on shuffle at a party."

"How to tie the strongest knot ever: 1) put some earbuds in your pocket 2) wait one minute"