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Joke of the Day

"[slides briefcase of money across the counter] ""two big macs please"" [opens briefcase to reveal $7]"

"Men and women are not so different afterall They both imagine each other on their knees."

"I just bought a car flag for independence day, for only two dollars.. Now i just need to buy a car, and i am all set."

"I thought about being a mortician On one hand people are dying to get into that field but i hear its dead end job"

"Why was Jon Snow so successful at basketball? he knew where to put it.."

"I dreamt I was forced to eat a giant marshmallow, When i woke up, my pillow was gone."

"What is Baltimore's favourite instrument The lute"

"If you steal somebody's rap lyrics, is it a rob-bar-y?"

"2 goldfish are in a tank. One looks at the other and says ""YOU MAN THE GUNS, I'LL DRIVE!"" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (I'm not deleting this)"

"COWORKER: Wanna come to my NYE party?! ME: Aww... I would, but I already have plans. MORGAN FREEMAN: He did not have plans."